My Art: Dah Power of Red Coppah!
Those of you who were kids back in the eighties will remember that very strange ambiguity that existed between toy commercials and infomercials. If you were a kid, you were getting yanked around all over the place because television networks had just gotten a hang of those fancy special effects, and it seemed that just about EVERYTHING onscreen was being sold with lasers, gradients in colors no human eye should see, or neon horizon matrices.
As a child, you had to exercise the greatest self-control, at least long enough through the beginning of the commercial (started, always, by a jaunty synth-pop tune) to see whether the advertised object of desire was going to be a new Masters of the Universe toy or Suzanne Sommers’ new workout video. If it was a toy commercial, you’d get then treated to a brief scene of kids ‘playing’ with their toys while reading their pre-assigned lines with all the zeal of an understudy finally getting their big moment, and all the talent of a metamorphic rock. All this would be accompanied by a narrator who tried to hype the toy line as if his livelihood depended on every single Teela action figure flying off the racks and pronto.
While the completely self-unaware toy commercial has given way to slicker presentations, the awkward infomercial seems to be here to stay, thank heavens. And speaking of that particular school of atrocities, I hope that you have, by now, seen those ubiquitous infomercials selling the Red Copper Pans and whatnot? They’re worth looking up, because of what’s to follow.
I know someone for whom cooking with the aforementioned red copper was synonymous to a religious experience. Combine that tidbit with the fact that the Jaboody Dub of the red copper pan commercial is both hilarious and wrong… and no good could come of this. When Asher asked me to draw this idea he had had concerning the red copper pan, my mind immediately jumped to those old infomercials and I realized that we have missed out on some sheer golden visual horror hell, simply because the red copper pan did not come out in the eighties.
Well… sigh no more, my ladies, sigh no more- I decided to create the eightiest-tastic-est visual nightmare, a slice of unlife of that which never was but which could have gloriously been. For your sheer delectation, I give you THE POWER OF THE RED COPPER infomercial still, circa 198X.